PRELUDE TO A FAREWELL

I hate goodbyes...........they come often, unannounced and are an inevitable part of our lives......... a word that transforms people we hold close, places we hold dear, things we love doing, to mere memories, vulnerable to getting erased by the waves of time, like the writings on a beach...........but yet, it is a giant that lifts its head again and again and there is no way you can ever get used to it.

It was with these thoughts that i turned my steps outside the gate of my house. The sun had long set on a hot and sultry day and the evening brought with it unexpected gusts of winds, which soon filled the light grey gloaming sky with puffy moisture-laden clouds. As i walked down the deserted road, with a solitary streetlight casting a dull yellow glow, i could hear the wind rustling through the trees, swaying their green heads akin to maidens in rustling victorian gowns being twirled around by their partners in a ball. Then the wind would stop and the trees would fall still, with only the dull thud of my footsteps resounding in the sudden quiet...........Just as suddenly a fresh gust would send the trees in motion again and yellow leaves would twirl down from the trees, like a beethovian symphony.

I could feel the wind in my hair, pulling and playing with strands, like a naughty sibling...........and soon i will be leaving it all behind...........the wind, the trees, the winding road................they will become shadows of a past that will only reveal themselves during the rare solitary moments.........the sparsely sprinkled moments...........moments when one talks to the self............

"We will not be living in a jungle anymore" he had said "but bang in the middle of a city". Just at that moment i realised how much i had come to love the 'wilderness' around me................the lonely tree-lined roads, that i had at one time found 'creepy', had become my refuge, where i would often go to get away from it all and just be with myself..................talk to myself.................where i could put away those cheery masks and don the cloak of melancholy.....................and always come back rejuvinated to take on the challenges in the charade called life.........

I had reached the bend of the road where the golden shower tree was in full bloom. Just a few weeks ago there was not a hue of green on the tree............and as it had stood there dry and devoid of a single leaf i remember wondering if it would ever see the spring again................then i had seen how miraculously overnight fresh green leaves had spurted out of those dry limbs and how the entire tree was now bent with the weight of the rich yellow flowers hanging down in heavy bunches.

I stood under the tree, like i had on many earlier ocassions, and ran my hand over the gnarled trunk, feeling its knobbly bark under my fingers...........................soon it will be time for me to say goodbye little friend...........A gentle breeze shook the tree sending a flower free and as it glided down lightly, it brushed past my cheek like a gentle caress.......soft and reassuring......Even as i stood there looking at the flower that had just fallen, the breeze slowly gathered strength and a sudden gust of wind caught up in the tree, twirling it, sending a cascade of yellow flowers all over me. I stood there transfixed, with the flowers swirling around me, and felt a strange sense of calm wash over me, my heart filled with elation, brimming with positivity. As i walked back home, my steps were lighter and so was my heart..........

The tree had answered all my unasked questions.